I saw that headline pop up today, you know the one: “Pisces Vogue Horoscope Today Love Report: Will your relationships go well?” Man, I got a real laugh out of it. Not because it’s a bad read—it’s probably just generic rubbish like the rest of them—but because it brought back the whole messy story of why I even bothered to start tracking these things in the first place.
I’m going to share the whole log, the entire stupid practice, from day one to the weird realization. It was never about the stars; it was about trying to make sense of a situation that had zero sense. I needed data, even if the data source was some magazine editor making stuff up on a Tuesday morning.
The Catalyst: Why I Became a Star-Chart Tracker
My entire practice of logging these reports started about six months ago. It wasn’t my idea. It was forced on me by a complete and total relationship collapse. Sarah, the woman I thought I was going to move in with, a textbook Pisces, just straight up bailed. Vanished. No fight, no argument, nothing. Just a short, cold text saying things weren’t working and she needed space. I chased, I pleaded, I looked pathetic, and nothing worked. She turned into a ghost. I felt like I was watching a bad movie where I didn’t know the script.
I spent three solid weeks driving myself absolutely crazy. I was replaying every conversation, analyzing every emoji she ever sent. I was trying to find the one single thing, the bug in the system, that caused the crash. I’d lost control. Completely. You know that feeling? You need to fix something, but the manual is in a language you don’t speak.
I was doom-scrolling one night, about 3 AM, and saw one of these astrology things pop up. It was talking about “Pisces navigating emotional confusion and needing personal retreat.” She used to joke about how spot-on her sign always was. I thought, “Fine. If she’s using this garbage to explain her actions, I’m going to use it to predict the next disaster.” It wasn’t belief; it was desperation disguised as a research project.
The Practice: Setting Up the Stupid Log
The first action I took was opening a simple Google Sheet. I didn’t mess with fancy software. I just needed columns. I labeled it “Operation: Vogue Report vs. Reality.” The whole process felt insane, but I was committed. I started logging the day’s report right there, every single morning, before my first coffee. I pulled from three different sources: Vogue, Cosmo, and sometimes just a random free site. I logged the most dramatic prediction.
Here’s what I logged every day for 42 days:
- Date and Time: To be exact about when I pulled the report.
- Report Wording: The actual sentence about love/relationships for a Pisces.
- My Reality Check: What actually happened that day related to any relationship—a call with a friend, a fight with my mom, maybe even a flirty exchange with the barista.
- Score (1-5): 1 was “Complete Nonsense,” 5 was “Freakishly Accurate.”
I really dug in, you know? I was looking for patterns, for the hidden wisdom. I wanted the stars to tell me what Sarah couldn’t or wouldn’t.
The Detailed Process and The Disconnect
The middle weeks were brutal. I was trying to fit square pegs into round holes. I’ll share a few key entries from the actual log:
- Day 9: Report said: “Pisces will encounter a deeply spiritual connection, fostering harmony with an old flame.” My Reality Check: I got into a massive, petty argument with my old college roommate about a Netflix password. Harmony? Spiritual? Total rubbish. Score: 1.
- Day 24: Report said: “The moon encourages a period of social retreat, avoid emotional risks.” My Reality Check: My friend Greg called me out of the blue and asked me to be his best man. I had to commit. Emotional risk? Sure. Retreat? Nope. Score: 2. It predicted a feeling, not an event.
- Day 35: Report said: “A chance meeting will clear up long-standing confusion.” My Reality Check: I bumped into Sarah’s brother at the grocery store. I felt my stomach drop. We exchanged two awkward sentences about the weather and he bolted. No clarity. Just more confusion and anxiety. Score: 1.
I started noticing how brilliantly vague these reports were. If the report said “talk to someone close,” and I paid my plumber, I could mark it as a 3. If it said “be wary of miscommunication,” and I got into an email fight with my bank, I could mark that down as well. I realized I was manipulating the data to try and feel like I wasn’t wasting my time. Every single entry I reviewed had nothing to do with Sarah or my romantic prospects going well. It was all noise.
The Final Realization: The Real Report
The practice ended not because I lost interest, but because of the biggest realization I had that entire six-week period. I was staring at the sheet on Day 42. Total score average was 1.8. Not even close to accurate.
I realized the whole project had nothing to do with horoscopes. The real log was my sanity log. The only thing the report did was give me a task every morning. Something to focus on that wasn’t how much I missed her or how unfair the whole thing was. I was trying to control the uncontrollable by logging the ridiculous.
The answer to “Will your relationships go well?” was never in the stars. It was in the actions I was taking. And me spending 42 days tracking a Vogue report meant my relationships—all of them—were probably on hold because I was too busy being a data scientist for the cosmos. I shut the spreadsheet down that day. I pulled the plug. I made the conscious decision to stop trying to analyze the past or predict the distant future and just focus on today. That’s the real report I want to share: Stop logging the nonsense and start acting on the reality. It worked better than any star chart ever did.
