Man, being single can be a real rollercoaster, right? One month you’re feeling all zen and independent, the next you’re staring at couples in the park and wondering if you’re ever gonna find your person. I’ve been there, trust me. For a long time, I just kinda lived my life, figuring if someone was meant to show up, they would. No big effort, no big drama. Just rolling with it. But after a while, that feeling started turning into a bit of a rut. The thought of “is new love coming?” felt less like a hopeful whisper and more like a nagging question I didn’t have an answer for.
My Journey to Figuring Things Out
So, I hit a point, maybe a year or so back, where I just knew I couldn’t keep doing the same old thing and expect different results. My friends were all pairing off, getting married, having kids, and I was still chilling with my cat, watching Netflix. Don’t get me wrong, I love my cat and Netflix, but I wanted more. I wanted that connection, that shared life. I finally just decided I had to actually do something about it, instead of just wishing.
I started by just talking to people, really. Not even specifically looking for dates, but just opening up more with friends, telling them I was actually serious about wanting to meet someone. That was a big step, admitting it out loud. Then, the inevitable suggestion came up: “Why don’t you try one of those dating apps?” My first reaction was a hard pass. I’d heard all the horror stories, seen the endless swiping, the ghosting. It just sounded exhausting. But after enough nudging, and honestly, after realizing my current approach of “waiting around” wasn’t cutting it, I decided to just jump in and give it a shot. What did I have to lose, really?
First, I had to pick which one to try. There are a million of them out there, right? I asked around, read some stuff online, and eventually settled on one that seemed a little less geared towards just hookups and more towards actual connections. It wasn’t about finding “the one” on day one, but more about seeing if I could even start a conversation with someone new.
Then came the dreaded profile creation. Man, that was a whole thing. I spent hours agonizing over pictures. Should I use that one from the beach? Or the one with my dog? Or the slightly blurry one where I looked really happy? I finally just picked a few that I thought showed me being myself – smiling, doing things I enjoy. Then the bio. Oh boy. How do you summarize yourself in a few sentences without sounding like a total dork or trying too hard? I tried to keep it light, a bit funny, and true to who I am. I talked about my love for hiking, my terrible cooking skills, and my dog. It took me a solid two evenings to get it just right, or at least, “good enough.” I remember hitting that “publish” button and just feeling this weird mix of relief and terror.
The initial phase of actually using the app was… an experience. I found myself swiping through profiles, trying to figure out if there was anything beyond a pretty face. It felt a bit superficial at first, I won’t lie. But then, every now and then, I’d see a profile that really caught my eye. Someone with an interesting hobby, or a funny line in their bio. I started sending messages, trying to be genuine and ask something specific about their profile, instead of just a generic “hey.” I got some replies, some crickets, and some really weird messages. I learned pretty fast that not everyone is on there for the same reasons. I also learned to not take it personally when someone didn’t reply, or when a conversation just fizzled out. It was a numbers game, and I just had to keep at it without getting too invested too quickly.
After a bunch of back and forth, I actually managed to set up a few dates. My first one was for coffee. It was awkward, as first dates often are. We talked for about an hour, and it was clear pretty quickly that there wasn’t much of a spark. No big deal, right? Just a practice run. The next one was dinner, and that went a lot better. We actually laughed, shared some stories, and I left feeling pretty good. We even went on a second date. That one, though, made me realize we were looking for different things. It was a bummer, but also a good learning experience.
I kept at it for a few months. I met some really interesting people, some who became good friends, and some who were just passing ships in the night. I had some really fun dates, some really terrible dates, and a few that just left me scratching my head. The biggest thing I learned wasn’t necessarily about finding “the one” right away, but about putting myself out there, being vulnerable, and being okay with rejection. It built up my confidence in ways I didn’t expect.
I ended up pausing the app for a bit after those few months. Not because I gave up, but because I actually felt like I’d found what I was looking for, just not in the way I expected. I didn’t find “new love” in the romantic sense from those apps, at least not directly. What I found was a renewed sense of self-worth and a clearer idea of what I actually want in a partner. And funny enough, after I stopped actively searching so hard on the app, I ended up connecting with someone through a mutual friend, someone I’d actually known for a while but never really saw that way. It was completely unexpected, and it started slowly, just as friends getting coffee, then more coffee, then dinner.
So, is new love coming? For me, it kind of did, but it wasn’t a direct result of the horoscope predictions or even the intensive app usage. It was a result of putting in the work on myself, being open to possibilities, and eventually, stepping back a bit and letting things unfold naturally after I had done my part. Sometimes the journey to finding something new means trying a bunch of old tricks, learning new ones, and then realizing the answer was maybe closer than you thought, just waiting for you to be ready to see it.
