Man, being single in late 2023 felt like a total waste of time. I was done with the apps, done with the ‘what are you looking for’ chats, and just plain sick of pizza for one. I needed a kickstart. I saw this big hype piece online about the 2024 Pisces Love Horoscope—said it was going to be a ‘Year of Deep Spiritual Connection’ for us fish, some big new energy coming in. I was skeptical, really, but my own methods clearly weren’t working, so I figured I might as well follow the silly map just to see where it led.
The first step, according to the ‘tips,’ was all about embracing my ‘natural intuitive magnetism.’ What the heck does that even mean? I interpreted it as this:
Embracing the ‘Intuition’ Lie
- Only date water signs: Cancer, Scorpio, or another Pisces. The article swore we’d instantly click.
- Trust the ‘gut feeling’: If a profile didn’t immediately make me feel like I needed to drop everything and call them, I was supposed to swipe left or cancel the date. No second chances.
- Focus on ‘spiritual hobbies’: Suggested meditation groups and ‘sound bath healing.’ Honestly, I just wanted a Friday night beer, but I tried it.
I dove into this whole mess like it was an assignment. I adjusted my dating app filters to specifically only show Cancers and Scorpios. What a disaster. I ended up on a date with a Cancer guy who spent forty-five minutes talking about how the government was tracking him through his smart fridge. I had a coffee with a Scorpio girl who kept asking me about my childhood trauma on the first meeting. It was intense, man, way too intense. That whole “water sign” compatibility thing? Total load of crap, at least for me.
The ‘trust your gut’ part was equally useless. I think I canceled three dates in one week because they just didn’t ‘feel right’ twenty minutes before I had to leave the house. I was just hiding, using the horoscope as an excuse to avoid meeting anyone slightly outside my comfort zone. I spent all of January following these ridiculous rules and ended up even more isolated than I started. I thought, “Well, the stars gave me an F.”
The Pivot to Real Life
Around mid-February, I got so fed up I decided to chuck the astrology book out the window—literally, I tossed the printout I had taped to my fridge. But I remembered one key line that wasn’t about signs or moon phases. It said something about achieving ‘personal stability before seeking union.’ Now that I could actually work with.
I figured if I was going to be single, I might as well use the time to actually fix up my own life, something I’d been putting off for ages. I didn’t join any more spiritual retreats. Instead, I:
- Signed up for that night class on basic home repairs. My bathroom faucet had been dripping since Thanksgiving.
- Forced myself to join a local running club, even though I hate running. I needed to move, man.
- Told my boss I wanted to take on the new, messy project he kept passing around. More work, less time to brood over dating.
I stopped actively searching. I deleted the apps off the front screen of my phone. I was just busy doing my own stuff, covered in paint, grease, or sweat most nights. I wasn’t worried about whether Mars was in retrograde or if some dude was a Sagittarius.
It was during this period, when I was completely focused on not being single, that the whole thing finally broke open. I met her at a friend-of-a-friend’s terribly organized, loud housewarming party. I was leaning against a wall, arguing loudly with someone I’d just met about the absolute necessity of having a good drill set versus owning a ridiculous amount of specialized gadgets. It wasn’t romantic at all. We were shouting over music, talking about power tools.
I definitely didn’t ‘feel’ an immediate cosmic connection. It was more like, “Man, this person is actually making good points about torque!” It was messy, human, and completely outside the advice I had spent a month trying to follow. We kept talking that night, exchanged numbers, and went out the next week.
It wasn’t until the third date that I asked for her birthday, mostly just out of curiosity because I had been so focused on signs earlier. She’s a freaking Aries. The total opposite of a water sign, the sign the horoscope said I should probably avoid because we’d clash. Clashed? Yeah, maybe in a healthy, challenging way. We’re still dating now.
The whole 2024 Pisces prediction thing was a bust when I tried to follow the details. But I think the main thing it did was force me to try a new routine, however stupid those first few attempts were. The real tip wasn’t in the stars; it was just in getting off the couch and doing the messy work of actual life. That’s when things finally happened.
