Man, that last week of January 2019. I remember it clear as day. Most folks were just getting over the holiday slump, trying to stick to New Year’s resolutions, but for me, that week felt like a whole different beast. It was heavy, you know? Like the air itself was thick with something ending.
I wasn’t really a horoscope guy, never really paid much mind to that stuff. But for some reason, that particular week, I kept seeing little bits of it floating around online. Just snippets here and there. And every single one I saw, for Pisces anyway, kept talking about “endings” and “final decisions” and some serious “letting go.” It was eerie, honestly, how much it just hit me.
See, for about two years before that, I’d been running this little side hustle. Built an online store, selling custom-designed phone cases and t-shirts. Started out as a fun little project, something creative to do after my regular job. I was all excited, spent weeks learning how to set up the site, figuring out suppliers, messing around with designs. It was a blast at first.
But by early 2019, it had turned into a real drag. I mean, a proper, soul-sucking drag. Every evening, after working all day, I’d come home and immediately face a pile of orders to process, designs to tweak, customer messages to answer. Weekends? Forget about it. They were just extended workdays for the shop. I was constantly stressed about inventory, shipping delays, bad reviews. It went from a passion project to a burden so heavy I could barely breathe. The money was okay, not life-changing, but enough that I felt guilty even thinking about stopping. It was like I was chained to it, you know?
That last week of January, it all just piled up. I had a huge backlog of orders, a supplier mess-up, and then my design software crashed and I lost a whole evening’s work. I was sitting there, staring at the blank screen, and something just snapped inside me. It wasn’t even anger, just this deep, bone-weary exhaustion. And that’s when those horoscope bits started swirling in my head again. “Final days.” “Letting go.”
The Big Decision
I sat there for a long time, just kinda staring at nothing. And then it hit me. I had to shut it down. It was a massive decision, like pulling teeth, because I had poured so much into it. But the feeling of relief, even just thinking about it, was immediate and physical. That was my “final days” moment. The final days of me being tied to something that was actively making me unhappy.
The next day, I started the process. It wasn’t easy. There was a lot of back and forth in my head.
- First, I drafted an announcement for the website. That was tough. Felt like admitting defeat, even though it was the opposite.
- Then, I ran a “closing down sale” to get rid of all the remaining stock. That was surprisingly cathartic. Watching it all go out the door.
- I had to email all my regular customers, explain what was happening. Some were bummed, but most were really understanding.
- Then came the real chore: cancelling subscriptions, closing accounts, selling off equipment I wouldn’t need anymore.
Each step, no matter how small, felt like shedding a layer of heavy old skin. By the time February rolled around, the shop was officially closed. The website was down. My evenings were suddenly empty. My weekends were, well, mine again.
I remember that first Saturday morning. I woke up, and for the first time in ages, I didn’t have a dozen things looming over me for the shop. I just… made coffee. And then I went for a long walk. It was simple, but it felt like pure freedom. That “final days” feeling in January? It really was the end of an era for me. It cleared out all the clutter and made space for everything that came next. Best decision I made that year, hands down.
