I never paid much attention to the whole star sign business, honestly. It felt like something people who watch daytime TV worried about. Then the big crash happened, and I was suddenly thrown into the deep end of it all. I was finally about to buy that little house, you know? The one with the yard for the dogs. I’d signed the papers in April, put down a huge deposit, finally getting out of that miserable apartment complex. We were supposed to go furniture shopping that weekend. I even had the U-Haul booked for the following week. Everything was solid. Or so I thought.
Then he just pulled the rug right out from under me. Not even a fight, not a big dramatic exit. He just vanished. Completely. Didn’t answer calls, blocked my texts. Just gone. Left me scrambling with a massive deposit I was trying to claw back and a rental lease I suddenly couldn’t break. I was furious. I wasn’t just heartbroken; I was financially wrecked. How does someone just have zero empathy? That’s when my friend Sarah told me to check his birthday. March 21st. The cusp. The Ram meeting the Fish. She told me I had dated the worst kind of mix. I didn’t believe her, but I needed an answer for the chaos this guy brought, so I started looking into it.
The Research Process: Building the Profile
I wasn’t reading any of those flowery, expensive books you find at the mall. That was useless. I needed real-world data, the stuff that only happens when people are drinking coffee and complaining. So I started my research. My practice was simple: I hit up every person I knew who had dated a guy born between March 17th and March 24th. I called three ex-colleagues, my cousin, and two high school friends. I bought them all drinks and just let them spill the tea. I was recording notes in a huge, spiral-bound notebook—the kind you use for history class. Total field research.
For two solid weeks, I then moved to the online world. I read the trashy forums, the Reddit threads where people weren’t trying to sound smart, they were just trying to process the mess these guys left behind. I was building what I called the “Chaos Profile”—a detailed list of the common break points and the weird behavior. I tried to find a pattern, something that connected the guy who ghosted me to the guy who randomly quit his job to become a street performer, which was one of the stories I heard.
What I found out was that it’s all about the conflict. It’s like their personality is a car with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake all the time. The Aries part—the Ram—is loud, impulsive, aggressive, and wants to do stuff right now. The Pisces part—the Fish—is sensitive, moody, totally vague, and just wants to lie in bed and feel sad about life. You never know which one is going to show up to dinner.
The Personal Observations and Recordings
This is what kept popping up over and over again in my notes. I wasn’t making it up; these were consistent disaster points:
- The Start is Intense: When you first meet them, the Aries kicks in. They pursue you hard. It’s all passion, big promises, fancy gifts, planning the next three years of your life after the first date. They make you feel like the only person on earth. It’s a rush, that’s why you fall for it.
- The Emotional Retreat: This is where the Fish takes over. Total flip. After that intense period, they get completely overwhelmed by their own feelings and suddenly need to disappear. My guy literally locked himself in his garage for a whole day because he “needed to process.” Process what? You just bought a house!
- The Boundary Testing: They have zero patience for rules or boundaries. The Ram needs to be the alpha, and the Fish is too slippery to be held down. If you say, “Don’t do X,” they will definitely do X just to see what happens.
- The Lover Question: Are they good lovers? They are absolutely intense lovers. When the Ram is in charge, it’s total fire and confidence. They are generous and completely engaged. But the mood swings are brutal. One minute, you are the most amazing thing in their life; the next, they are staring at the ceiling, thinking about existential dread. It makes the connection totally unstable, like walking on ice.
- Zero Follow-Through: The Aries starts a thousand projects; the Pisces finishes none of them. They are excellent at the initial plan, terrible at the execution. This is why my guy ditched the house closing. The excitement was over, and the actual paperwork was boring. He bolted.
It sounds dramatic, but I started keeping that notebook, and it saved me later. I wasn’t ready to date again right away, but I started paying closer attention to everyone. I saw the signs in a completely different friend’s relationship—the sudden moods, the massive impulsiveness followed by guilt. Knowing the pattern doesn’t let you fix them, but it lets you see the trapdoor before you fall into it. That’s the real lesson I got from that whole house fiasco. That guy taught me you can’t trust someone who is constantly at war with their own personality. You’re just collateral damage in their fight. And that’s exactly why I eventually packed my bags and drove cross-country, alone, but totally free from his mess.
