Man, 2018. That was a year, wasn’t it? For me, a full-blown Pisces, it felt like I was just drifting, you know? Like a boat without a rudder, just going wherever the current took me. I remember waking up most mornings back then, just feeling this dull ache in my gut, dreading another day doing the same old stuff. I was in a job, a stable one, sure, but it wasn’t me. I pushed buttons, typed reports, went to meetings about things I barely cared about. The pay was decent, the people were fine, but deep down, I was just completely checked out.
I’d been doing that gig for what felt like forever, probably close to ten years by then. Every now and then, I’d get this flicker of an idea, a whisper in my head about doing something else. Something creative, something that actually used my brain in a different way. But then the fear would kick in. The fear of failure, the fear of losing that steady paycheck, the fear of what everyone else would say. So, I’d just shove those thoughts back down and keep on pushing those damn buttons.
The Breaking Point
But 2018 hit different. Maybe it was something in the air, or maybe it was just that I finally hit my absolute limit. I remember this one Tuesday, I was sitting at my desk, staring at a spreadsheet that made absolutely no sense to me, and I just… snapped. Not like, yelled at anyone, but inside, something just broke. I felt this intense wave of nausea, like my body was screaming at me to get out. That night, I went home, and for the first time in years, I really talked to my partner about it. Laid it all out, how miserable I was, how I felt like I was wasting my life. She just listened, bless her. Didn’t try to fix it, just listened.
That conversation was the first domino to fall. The next morning, I woke up, and it wasn’t just a whisper anymore, it was a shouting match in my head. “DO SOMETHING!” So, I started small. I didn’t quit my job right away, no way. That’s not how I roll. I started just… looking. I pulled out old sketchbooks, dusted off a guitar I hadn’t touched in ages. I started reading articles, watching videos about people who had totally changed their lives. It felt a bit like dipping my toes in freezing water, but it was something.
Dipping My Toes In
I got really into learning about coding, actually. Always thought it was for super smart techy types, but the idea of building something from nothing, bringing an idea to life on a screen, that really started to grab me. So, after work, instead of zoning out in front of the TV, I’d fire up my old laptop and start digging into online courses. Free ones at first, just to see if I even liked it. And you know what? It was hard, really hard. So many times, I wanted to just throw the laptop across the room. But there was this little spark, this feeling of accomplishment when something finally clicked, that I hadn’t felt in a long, long time.
I spent probably three solid months doing that, just trying to learn the basics. My eyes were blurry, my head ached, but I was engaged. My evenings weren’t about dread anymore, they were about figuring things out. I even started talking to a few folks online who were already working in the field. Asked stupid questions, got some solid advice. It built up this tiny bit of confidence, just enough to make me think, “Maybe I can do this.”
Taking The Leap
Then came the big one. I started looking at actual bootcamps, these intensive programs that promise to get you job-ready in a few months. That meant money, a lot of money, and quitting my current job. This was the cliff edge, man. I agonized over it for weeks. My partner was incredibly supportive, told me to go for it, that we’d figure out the money somehow. Her faith in me was huge. So, I did it. I put in my notice. Walking out of that office for the last time, it was a weird mix of sheer terror and absolute exhilaration. My boss looked at me like I was insane, leaving a “good” job for something “unstable.” But I didn’t care.
The bootcamp was brutal. Ten, twelve hours a day, coding, debugging, learning new languages, building projects. My brain felt like it was constantly on fire. There were moments I seriously questioned my sanity. “What have I done?” I’d ask myself. But then I’d look around at everyone else, all these different people, all chasing their own new paths, and I’d just push through. We helped each other, stayed up late, chugged way too much coffee. It was intense, but it also felt like I was finally living again, using parts of my brain that had been dormant for ages.
Landing and Finding My Footing
When the bootcamp finished, the job hunt began. That was another beast entirely. Lots of rejections, lots of “we’ll get back to you” that never turned into anything. But I kept at it, tweaking my resume, practicing interviews, building more stuff. And finally, after what felt like an eternity, I landed my first junior dev role. It wasn’t fancy, didn’t pay a ton, but it was a foot in the door. I remember that first day, sitting at my new desk, actually excited to open up my computer and start working. It felt completely different.
Looking back, that jump in 2018, it was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever done. Leaving that safe, boring job to dive headfirst into something totally new. But it was also the best decision. That feeling of finally being on my own true path, actually enjoying what I do, even when it’s hard – that’s priceless. It wasn’t just a career change; it was like I finally steered that rudderless boat towards a new, exciting shore. And for a Pisces like me, finding that sense of direction, that purpose, was everything.
