Starting from Zero: Why I Needed a Five-Card Roadmap
I’ve been messing around with different tarot spreads for ages, right? Three cards, Celtic Cross, whatever. But lately, I hit a wall with my current dating situation. It wasn’t drama, it was just confusion. Everything felt okay, then suddenly, crickets. I kept chewing on it, calling my friends, rewriting texts I never sent. It got ugly fast. That’s when I realized I needed to stop guessing what he was thinking and just get a structured look at the whole mess.
I’d seen this 5-card love spread popping up everywhere online—the one that really drills down into the relationship dynamics, not just ‘will we get married?’ nonsense. I decided to pull the trigger. I figured if I was going to lose sleep over this, I might as well get some solid data first. So I grabbed my deck, the Rider-Waite, because sometimes you just need the classics to deliver the cold, hard truth.
I needed a clean slate. I actually went through this whole ritual thing. I cleared my table, lit a terrible-smelling candle (I swear I need to replace that one), and just spent five solid minutes staring at the cards, trying to dump all the anxiety and ridiculous expectations into the deck. I focused on one simple question: “What is the actual state of this connection and what is blocking it?”
Shuffling the Doubt Away and Laying the Foundation
I shuffled for what felt like an hour. I really pushed the energy of the confusion into the cards. If you’ve ever done this, you know that moment when the deck feels ‘done.’ It felt heavy, like it was ready to throw some serious shade. I cut the deck twice with my left hand and started laying them out, left to right, straight across the table. This spread is simple to lay out, which I appreciated, because my brain was already fried.
Here’s how the five positions hit, and what I drew:
- Card 1: The Foundation (The Past). This shows the energy we started with, the roots. I pulled The Tower.
- Card 2: The Blockage (The Present). This is the big hurdle right now, the thing confusing me. I pulled the Three of Swords.
- Card 3: His Perspective (The Other Side). What he is feeling, but not saying. I pulled the Ace of Cups reversed.
- Card 4: My Contribution (The Lesson). What I need to see about my own actions. I pulled the Queen of Pentacles.
- Card 5: The Resolution (The Advice). Where we are going and what I should do next. I pulled the Four of Wands.
Man, when I saw The Tower and the Three of Swords sitting right next to each other, I nearly packed up the cards and called it a day. It looked like a total disaster zone, right? But I forced myself to sit down and read the whole damn thing through.
The Ugly Truth Revealed: Reading the Sequence
The Tower as the foundation? That was a punch in the gut, but it made sudden sense. I remembered how we actually met. It was right after a major fallout with a really intense former business partner—a huge, explosive ending that left me completely rebuilding my life. We met in the rubble, essentially. The connection wasn’t built on stability; it was built on shared chaos and distraction from reality. I had always brushed off the intensity, thinking it was passion. The Tower said, “Nope, unstable ground.”
Then the Three of Swords as the Blockage. That’s pure heartbreak and pain, often about a third party or betrayal, but for me, it immediately clicked as emotional fragmentation. I realized I wasn’t confused because he was confusing; I was confused because I hadn’t actually healed from the Tower event yet. I was bringing the pain and suspicion from that past situation into this new one, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
And then there was his side, the Ace of Cups reversed. That’s emotional drought, withdrawal, or maybe just inability to connect deeply right now. I had spent weeks assuming he was pulling back because he found someone better. The Ace reversed simply suggested he was emotionally unavailable or overwhelmed. He wasn’t rejecting me; he was protecting himself from feeling too much right now, probably sensing the underlying instability I was radiating.
This is where the practice really pays off. I remember years ago, I had a job that I absolutely hated. Every single morning I dragged myself out of bed dreading the commute. I kept telling myself it was temporary. Then one day, I got laid off. It felt like the world ended, but within six months, I had started my own little side hustle which eventually became this blog and my main income source. The layoff was painful, but it was the necessary catalyst. This reading felt exactly the same—painful truth leading to necessary action.
The Final Lesson and the Path Forward
Now for the cards that really mattered: My action and the outcome. My contribution was the Queen of Pentacles. I needed to embody her energy. She’s stable, nurturing, practical, and grounded. The message wasn’t to chase him or fix him. The message was to plant my own feet firmly on the ground, manage my own resources, and build stability for myself. Stop waiting for him to define my emotional state. Focus on my own house.
And the resolution, the Four of Wands, was shocking. That card is all about celebration, community, and solid foundations. It wasn’t saying “you two will get married next week.” It was saying that if I put in the Queen of Pentacles work—the grounding and stability—the outcome would be joy and stability, regardless of whether it was with him or just in my life generally. The accuracy wasn’t about predicting the future; it was about defining the necessary conditions for a good future.
I took the advice. I stopped texting. I started focusing on my own projects, calling friends I had neglected, and generally being the stable rock for myself. When he finally texted two weeks later, the desperate energy I usually had was gone. I replied calmly. We met up. The conversation was honest. I shared that I realized I needed to deal with my own lingering baggage before expecting perfection from him. Guess what? He admitted he was dealing with some family stuff and couldn’t be fully present. The tension dissolved because the tarot made me focus on the necessary internal shift first. It was accurate because it forced me to be accurate with myself. That’s the real trick to these spreads, I swear.
