Man, this month has been a wild one on the dating front, I gotta tell ya. It just felt like everything was cranked up to eleven, especially when it came to feelings. I started out feeling pretty open, you know? Like, ready to just dive in and see where things went. Didn’t have a specific plan, just a general ‘let’s meet some new folks’ kind of vibe.
I remember one evening, I was just scrolling through apps, nothing serious. Then I matched with this one person, and right away, I felt a connection. Not like an intense, ‘soulmate’ kind of thing, but just a really good, easygoing chat. We talked for like, two hours straight over text. And as we were messaging, I found myself getting super invested, super quickly. My brain started spinning, thinking about what this could be, where it could lead. It’s crazy how fast I can go from zero to a hundred with someone I barely know, just based on a few good laughs and some shared interests.
Then, after that initial high, things slowed down a bit. We agreed to meet up, but then the scheduling became a bit of a dance. And suddenly, all that initial excitement started to twist into this weird self-doubt. Did I say something wrong? Were they actually interested, or was it just me projecting all my hopes onto a few emojis? I kept re-reading our messages, trying to find some hidden meaning, some sign that I’d messed it up. It’s a classic move for me, really. I get my hopes up, then immediately start to question everything.
Another thing I noticed was how much I craved that deep, meaningful conversation. Small talk just wasn’t cutting it this month. I went on a coffee date, and the person was super nice, but it was all surface-level stuff. We talked about jobs, the weather, what shows we were watching. And while that’s fine, I just couldn’t shake this feeling of wanting something more, something real. I kept trying to steer the conversation towards deeper topics, like what makes them tick, what their dreams are, their fears. But it just didn’t land. I walked away from that one feeling a bit deflated, like I hadn’t truly connected with anyone.
But then, there was another interaction that totally threw me for a loop, but in a good way. I met someone through a friend at a casual get-together. We weren’t trying to date or anything, just talking in a group. But as the night went on, we just kept finding ourselves in conversation, just the two of us. And it was like, effortlessly deep. We talked about art, about past experiences, about the weird quirks of life. I felt seen, you know? Like they actually got what I was saying, and not just the words, but the feeling behind them. It was such a relief, honestly, to just be myself and have it resonate so well with someone else.
That night, I went home feeling a mix of hope and total confusion. Hope because, wow, that was a genuine connection. But confusion because, well, what now? Is this a dating thing? Is it just a really good friendship? My brain immediately went into overdrive, trying to analyze every glance, every word. I found myself really thinking about them a lot over the next few days, wondering if they felt the same way. It’s tough when you’re someone who feels things so intensely, because every potentially meaningful interaction turns into this huge emotional event.
I also realized I was just really sensitive to energy this month. If someone felt off, even in a small way, I could pick up on it. I had to cancel a second date with someone because I just had this nagging feeling in my gut. Nothing they did was overtly bad, but something just wasn’t sitting right. And usually, I might push through and give people a few chances, but this month, my intuition was screaming, and I actually listened to it. That felt like a small win, honestly, prioritizing my own comfort over trying to be polite.
So, yeah, it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. Lots of highs where I felt super connected and hopeful, and then some definite lows where I was just lost in my own head, overthinking everything. I really just wanted to find someone who understands that emotional depth, you know? Someone who isn’t afraid to dive into the deep end with me. This month really highlighted how much I value that kind of connection and how easily I can get lost when I don’t find it. It’s a journey, for sure, and I’m just trying to navigate it with my heart still mostly intact.
