Man, figuring out what to do with your life… that’s a whole journey, isn’t it? I remember back when I was just starting out, fresh out of school, and had no clue what I was doing. All the advice was about picking a solid path, climbing the ladder, being practical. But honestly, none of that ever really sat right with me. I tried; oh, I tried.
I dove headfirst into a few different jobs. My first real gig was in a big corporate office, pushing papers and chasing numbers. Everyone there seemed so focused, so clear on their goals. Me? I just felt like a fish out of water. I’d sit at my desk, staring at spreadsheets, and my mind would just wander off to a million other things. I felt this constant need to escape, to do something more meaningful, something that touched people’s lives in a different way, even if I couldn’t quite put my finger on what that was.
After a couple of years of just feeling utterly drained and disconnected, I jumped ship. I thought maybe I needed something more creative, so I tried my hand at graphic design. I taught myself some software, spent countless nights watching tutorials. I even landed a few small freelance projects. It was better, for sure, because I was making things, imagining things. But even then, there was this nagging feeling that something was still missing. It wasn’t just about creating pretty pictures; I wanted to create impact, but in a really subtle, almost invisible way.
This went on for a few more years, bouncing around. I was always searching, always feeling like there was a deeper purpose I just wasn’t grasping. I’d pick up new hobbies, learn random skills, meet all sorts of people, always hoping one of these detours would finally lead me to my “calling.” It was a lot of trial and error, a lot of feeling lost in the fog, to be honest. I put myself out there, tried to network, went to workshops, just trying to soak up anything that might point me in the right direction.
Then, one day, a friend who was really into astrology started talking to me about my birth chart. I’d always thought it was a bit of a fun curiosity, but she was serious about it. She pointed out that my 10th House – which she said was all about career and public image – was in Pisces. And she started describing how that often meant a career path that wasn’t straightforward, that involved compassion, creativity, healing, or working behind the scenes, sometimes with a touch of illusion or service.
Honestly, at first, I just nodded along. But something about what she said, it started to resonate. It explained that deep-seated feeling I always had, that corporate stuff just wasn’t for me, that I needed something more fluid, more about intuition and less about rigid structures. It made sense of all my artistic leanings, my desire to help, my tendency to feel overwhelmed by harsh realities. It felt like someone had finally handed me a map to my own weird brain.
So, I started looking at things differently. I stopped chasing titles or big paychecks and really focused on what felt right. I decided to lean into that “service” aspect she talked about. I began volunteering regularly at an animal shelter, just to be around something pure and needing care. That felt good, really good. It wasn’t a job, but it was giving me a sense of purpose.
Then, a unique opportunity popped up. A small, local non-profit was looking for someone to manage their online presence and communications. It wasn’t glamorous. It was a bit messy, figuring things out as we went. But the core mission was about helping a vulnerable part of the community, and the role itself needed a blend of creativity for content and intuition for understanding audience needs. I applied, poured my heart into the interview, and somehow, I got it.
Stepping into that role felt like finally putting on a shoe that actually fit. It wasn’t about being in the spotlight; it was about facilitating, communicating stories, raising awareness, and indirectly, offering comfort and support. I was working with vague goals at times, dealing with sensitive topics, and often relying on my gut feelings to navigate interactions and craft messages. It was exactly what my friend had described – not a clear-cut path, but one guided by empathy and a desire to make a difference, even if the impact wasn’t always immediately quantifiable. I found myself using my creative skills not for profit, but for purpose. I learned to embrace the fluidity, the occasional ambiguity, and the emotional depth of the work. It wasn’t a straight line, but it certainly felt like I was finally sailing in the right direction.
