Man, so much has happened since early 2023, you know? It’s wild how you just live through stuff, right? Back then, I remember feeling this weird shift in the air. Like, nothing was really concrete, but everything felt… different. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was like the ground under my feet got a little softer, a little less solid. I just kinda knew things were gonna get deep, whether I liked it or not. I wasn’t really looking for it, but it found me, I guess.
Stepping Into the Haze: Early Days of Change
I started noticing it big-time around March 2023. It wasn’t an event, more like a persistent vibe. I found myself pulling back from a lot of the usual chatter, the quick-fix kind of thinking. I used to chase after all these shiny new ideas, hopping from one thing to another, always external. But then, it was like a quiet voice inside just said, “Hold on. What are you actually trying to build here?” And it wasn’t about building a house or a business, but something way more… internal. I struggled with that at first, feeling a bit lost. My usual go-to strategies for problem-solving just weren’t cutting it. Everything felt a little fuzzy around the edges, like walking through a dream.
I remember one specific evening, I was just staring out my window, and it hit me. All these little routines, these assumptions I had about how life worked, they just didn’t hold the same weight anymore. I’d always been a pretty practical guy, you know? Like, action-oriented. But this period, it kinda forced my hand to pause. I began spending more time just… being. Not doing, just being. That was a huge shift for me, a real wrestling match with my own expectations. I started journaling again, which I hadn’t done in years, just to try and get some of the swirling thoughts down on paper. It helped, a little.
The Deep Dive: Confronting My Own Illusions
As we moved through late 2023 and into 2024, that feeling of haziness didn’t really go away. Instead, it got deeper. I found myself confronting some big illusions I’d been holding onto about myself, about my career, even about some relationships. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Things I thought were solid as a rock started to show cracks. I remember having to make some tough decisions about where I was putting my energy. My old approach of just pushing through, grinding it out, it just felt… wrong. It was like I was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, and the universe was just gently, but firmly, saying “nope.”
I really had to lean into my intuition more than ever before. That’s not something I usually do, I’m more of a logic guy. But during this time, pure logic just felt like it was missing the point. I’d find myself sitting with a problem for days, feeling the answer rather than thinking it through. And surprisingly, those gut feelings often led me to better outcomes. It wasn’t always easy. There were times I just wanted to throw my hands up and quit. I lost some steam on a couple of projects because they just didn’t feel right anymore, and I couldn’t force myself to do them. That was a big lesson in letting go, a really hard one.
I also started connecting with people on a totally different level. Less small talk, more deep conversations about what truly matters. I sought out people who were also asking bigger questions, who weren’t just stuck in the superficial. It felt like a collective awakening, or maybe I was just finally seeing it. I watched friends and family go through similar things – feeling disoriented, but also trying to find deeper meaning. It felt like we were all in this weird, soulful soup together.
Emerging with New Eyes: The Long-Term Shift
Now, as we hit early 2026, looking back, it’s wild how much I’ve changed. The fuzziness hasn’t completely gone away, but I’ve learned to navigate it better. It’s like I finally got my sea legs, you know? I’ve actually embraced that sense of flow instead of fighting against it. I’ve realized that sometimes, not having all the answers is exactly where you need to be. It forces you to trust something beyond yourself, something bigger.
I’ve definitely gotten more disciplined about the things that genuinely feed my soul. My creative practices, which used to be sporadic, are now a consistent part of my week. I learned to carve out that space, even when life feels busy. It’s like I finally understood that these aren’t luxuries, they’re necessities for my well-being. And the things I had to let go of? Yeah, it stung at the time, but now I see they were just making room for something better, something more aligned with who I actually am, not who I thought I should be.
I’m still figuring a lot of things out, always will be. But this whole period, it really stripped away a lot of the old BS. It made me confront what’s real and what’s just smoke and mirrors. I feel like I’m standing on much more solid ground now, ironically, even though that ground is a lot more fluid than I ever imagined. It was a journey into the depths, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
