Man, it’s wild to look back at the start of 2023. I remember feeling this weird pull, like the air itself was getting thicker, demanding more from me. It wasn’t anything I could put my finger on exactly, just a vibe. Then, as Saturn moved into Pisces, everything started to crystallize, showing me what that heavy feeling was all about.
Right off the bat, I started noticing how flimsy some of my boundaries had become. Things I used to just let slide, suddenly felt like heavy anchors. I remember trying to keep up with too many projects, saying “yes” to everyone, and then just hitting a wall. My energy just dipped, big time. It was like the universe was forcing me to finally draw some lines. I had to learn to say “no” more often, which felt super uncomfortable at first, like I was letting people down.
Then there was this whole thing with my dreams, not the sleep kind, but the big picture stuff. For a while, I’d been floating along, happy with vague aspirations. But when this transit hit, it was like a cold splash of water. Suddenly, I felt this intense pressure to get real, to actually put some structure behind those dreams. I mean, it’s one thing to say you want to write a book, it’s another to sit down every single day and actually write. That’s where the real grind came in. I started forcing myself to outline, to set small, achievable goals, and track my progress. It felt like I was pulling teeth in the beginning, honestly.
My daily routine got a complete overhaul, too. I used to be a bit all over the place, just doing things as they came up. But I started feeling really drained and scattered. I knew I needed to make a change. I remember I just sat down one weekend and totally restructured my mornings. I started waking up a bit earlier, just carving out time for myself before the day got crazy. Even something as simple as making my bed every morning became a non-negotiable. It wasn’t about being perfect, it was about building some kind of solid ground underneath me when everything else felt a bit watery and uncertain.
The Struggle for Clarity
There were moments, especially in the middle of 2024, when I felt completely overwhelmed by confusion. It was like wading through thick fog. Things that used to feel clear just got murky. Relationships, career paths, even simple decisions felt like monumental tasks. I found myself second-guessing everything. I remember having a really tough conversation with a good friend because our shared vision for a project just dissolved into a mess of misunderstandings. It was painful, but it forced me to really look at how I communicate and what I truly want.
I started leaning into my intuition more, trying to listen to that quiet voice inside. It wasn’t always easy, especially when logic was screaming something different. I began keeping a journal, just dumping all my thoughts and feelings onto the page. No filter, no judgment. That really helped me untangle some of the knots in my head and see patterns I was missing before.
Finding the Flow, Slowly But Surely
As we moved further into 2025, things started to shift again. The intense pressure didn’t vanish, but it felt more like a sculptor shaping clay than a hammer smashing rock. I began to understand that all that boundary setting and routine building wasn’t about restricting myself, but about creating a container. A container for my creativity, for my energy, for my dreams. It was tough work, really tough, but I could feel myself getting stronger, more resilient.
I remember one specific project at work, a really complex one with a lot of moving parts and unclear objectives. Usually, I would have freaked out. But this time, I just broke it down into tiny, manageable steps. I focused on what I could do right then, even if it was just making a phone call or sending an email. And it worked. We actually pulled it off, and I felt a sense of accomplishment that was deeper than usual, because I knew how much resistance I had to push through.
This period has really taught me the value of structure, even when it feels counterintuitive to my more free-spirited nature. It’s not about being rigid, but about creating a framework that allows me to be more effective and grounded, especially when the world feels like it’s dissolving around me. It’s been a slow, sometimes painful, but ultimately very clarifying journey. I’m still in it, still figuring things out, but I feel like I’m walking on much firmer ground now.
