Man, so, you know how sometimes you see those headlines, “Get ready for changes!” or whatever, usually talking about your star sign? I always just kinda scroll past ‘em, right? Never really bought into all that, but then, a few months back, something just clicked. It felt like the universe was actually trying to tell me something, and funnily enough, it was about those exact, big, scary changes.
I was just cruising along, you know? Same old job, same routine. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t… great either. I just felt this dull ache, a kind of boredom that was slowly getting heavier. It was like I was in a car, stuck in neutral, just revving, but going nowhere. I remember staring at my screen one Tuesday morning, and it just hit me. Like a ton of bricks. This can’t be it. This just can’t be all there is to it.
That feeling was the start of everything. I didn’t know what to do with it at first. It was just this big, looming cloud. I tried to ignore it for a bit, thinking, “Nah, it’s just a phase.” But it kept nagging at me. So, the first thing I did, literally, was I dug out this old, beat-up spiral notebook from a drawer. It was filled with old grocery lists and half-baked ideas from years ago. I flipped to a fresh page and just started writing down everything that sucked about my current situation. No filter, just raw stuff. The commute, the boring meetings, the projects that went nowhere, the feeling of being invisible. I filled up almost two pages.
Then, I forced myself to flip to the next page and write down what I wished for. This was harder. Much harder. Because it wasn’t just about complaining, it was about imagining. What did I actually want? I wrote down things like “more challenge,” “learn new things,” “feel excited to wake up.” It sounded kinda cheesy even to me, but I kept pushing through it. This was my first real “practice record,” just getting it all out there.
Next thing, I started paying attention. Really paying attention to how I felt throughout the day. When was I actually happy? When did I feel a spark? It wasn’t often, honestly. But sometimes, when I was tinkering with some stuff on my computer after work, or helping a buddy figure out a tech problem, I felt a little surge. That was a clue. A tiny, flickering light in the dark.
So, I thought, okay, if I want “new things,” I gotta go looking for them. I started just casually browsing job boards. Not applying, just looking at what was out there. What kinds of jobs sounded interesting? What skills did they need? I felt a little sick to my stomach doing it, like I was cheating on my current job, which is dumb, but that’s how it felt. I kept a running list in that notebook of jobs that caught my eye and the skills they asked for. I remember thinking, “Man, I don’t have half of these.”
That’s when the real grinding started. I picked one skill that kept popping up and thought, “Alright, I’m gonna try and learn this.” I found some free online courses, watched a bunch of YouTube tutorials. It was brutal at first. After a full day of work, sitting down to learn something new felt like pulling teeth. There were so many nights I just wanted to binge-watch something dumb. But then I’d look at my notebook, at that list of “wishes,” and that little bit of guilt would kick me back into gear. I’d spend an hour, maybe two, trying to grasp these new concepts. I’d jot down notes, try out code snippets, get frustrated, then eventually, sometimes, get a tiny win. Each small win, I’d write down, almost like a little reward. “Figured out X concept today! Woohoo!”
This went on for weeks, then months. It wasn’t just about learning the skill; it was about building up the courage, too. I started talking to people, too. Friends, old colleagues, anyone who would listen to me ramble about feeling stuck. Just verbally processing it out loud helped a lot. Some of them had been through similar stuff, and hearing their stories made me feel less alone, less crazy for wanting to shake things up.
Eventually, I felt like I had enough to actually apply for something. It was terrifying. I updated my resume, which looked pathetic at first, then I beefed it up with all the little projects and learnings I’d been doing. I even tried writing a cover letter that didn’t sound like a robot wrote it. I sent out a few applications, and then… nothing. Crickets. That was a real gut punch. I felt like giving up right then and there. What was I even doing? This whole “change” thing was just a pipe dream.
But my notebook was there. All those pages of frustrations, wishes, small wins. It reminded me how much work I’d already put in. So, I took a deep breath, went back to the drawing board. I looked at the feedback from a friend on my resume, tweaked it more, found some different jobs, and applied again. This time, I got an interview. Just one. But it was enough.
That interview was a whole new beast. I prepped like crazy, going through all my notes, researching the company, practicing answers out loud. I even wrote down potential questions and my bullet-point answers in my notebook. It was like I was training for a marathon. I went in, probably sweating buckets, but I walked out feeling like I’d actually said something worthwhile, something honest.
And you know what? I got the job. It was a completely different field, completely different vibe. When I got that call, it was like someone had just flipped a switch inside me. All those feelings of dread and boredom just… vanished. It was scary, still, to leave the old behind. But it was also exhilarating. It was exactly the kind of big change that horoscope headline had talked about. And looking back at all my messy notes and lists in that old notebook, it wasn’t just destiny or some star sign telling me what to do. It was me, pushing through it, step by messy step, making those changes happen myself. And honestly, it feels pretty good.
