Man, sometimes you just hit a wall, you know? Like, you’re just going through the motions, day in and day out, feeling like you’re not really steering your own ship. That was me, for a good chunk of time. I was letting things happen to me, not making them happen for me. I saw others out there, just crushing it, owning their space, and I just kept thinking, “How do they do that?”
I remember this one evening, just staring at my ceiling, feeling… small. That’s the best way to describe it. Like I was meant for more, but had no clue how to reach it. I’d been reading bits and pieces about mindset, about claiming your power, but it all felt kinda… abstract. Like something other people did. But that night, something clicked. I figured, if they could do it, why the hell couldn’t I? Why couldn’t I be that person, that ‘Empress’ I kept imagining in my head, ruling her own damn life?
So, I started small. I literally grabbed a notebook – yeah, an actual physical notebook, none of that digital stuff initially – and I just started writing down what that ‘Empress’ version of me looked like. Not just what she had, but how she felt, how she acted. I filled pages, just dumping everything from my brain. I even sketched little stick figures, looking all confident and stuff. Sounds silly, right? But it was the first step in painting a picture of where I wanted to go.
Then came the real work. It wasn’t just about envisioning; it was about doing. I decided I needed to stop waiting for permission. The first thing I tackled was my morning routine, which frankly, was a mess. I used to just roll out of bed, grab my phone, and doomscroll. I forced myself to wake up an hour earlier, not to work out immediately, but just to sit, drink water, and actually plan my day. Not perfectly, just roughly. I started picking one small thing each day that moved me closer to that ‘Empress’ vision. Sometimes it was just sending an email I’d been dreading. Other times, it was learning a new skill online, even if it was just for twenty minutes.
I began to really observe my own thoughts. Man, that was an eye-opener. I realized how much I was talking myself out of stuff, how much doubt I carried around. So, I started challenging those thoughts. When a voice in my head said, “You can’t do that,” I’d literally respond, out loud sometimes, “Watch me.” It felt goofy at first, but it built this muscle, you know? This mental muscle for pushing back against my own limitations.
Here’s what I truly did, in no particular order, because life ain’t linear:
- Cut the B.S. out of my life: That meant certain people who drained my energy, certain habits that held me back. It was hard, real hard, especially with some folks, but I just told myself, “This isn’t serving the Empress.”
- Started saying “no” more often: To requests that didn’t align with my goals, to commitments that felt forced. It freed up so much time and mental space.
- Learned new stuff, even if I sucked: I picked up coding basics, then a bit of design. Not because I wanted to be a developer, but because I wanted to prove to myself I could learn new things and expand my capabilities. I failed a lot, broke things, but kept pushing.
- Celebrated the small wins: Finished a tough task? High five myself. Stuck to my new routine for a week? Treat myself to something small. It kept the momentum going.
- Put myself out there: Applied for opportunities I thought I wasn’t qualified for. Spoke up in meetings. Shared my ideas, even if my voice shook a little. Each time I did it, it got a tiny bit easier.
There were days I wanted to throw in the towel, believe me. Days where nothing worked, where I felt like I was back to square one, staring at the ceiling again. But then I’d open that old notebook, look at the messy scrawls and stick figures, and remind myself of that ‘Empress’ I was building. It wasn’t about perfection; it was about progress, about consistently showing up for myself.
And slowly, but surely, things started to shift. Not like a sudden explosion, but like the tide coming in. I felt more confident, more grounded. Opportunities started appearing that felt tailor-made. I found my voice, not just in my head, but out loud, where it mattered. I started making decisions with clarity, not fear. That ‘Empress’ wasn’t just a vision anymore; she was me, standing right there, imperfections and all, but definitely in charge. It was about taking ownership, pushing through the crap, and realizing that your destiny isn’t something handed to you; it’s something you literally build, piece by messy piece, until you’re standing exactly where you meant to be.
