I gotta be straight with you, I never gave a damn about star signs. Not one bit. Astrology was always just background noise, something my sister talked about when she was bored. But about a year ago, everything went sideways for me. And I mean, everything. Major financial hit, weird stuff happening at home, just a total mess. My buddy, Mark—a die-hard Pisces—kept messaging me.
“Dude,” he’d text, “you should have checked John Hayes. He totally called this chaos. But listen, next week is the turnaround, he promised a windfall.”
He was so insistent, it actually got under my skin. I didn’t believe in the stars, but I was desperate and frankly, I was bored out of my mind waiting for the insurance claims to go through. So I decided to track it. Not for guidance, but just to prove my friend wrong. I figured, I’ll track John Hayes’ weekly Pisces forecast for four months straight. Every single prediction, no exceptions. Sounded dumb, but I needed a project, something to keep my hands busy.
The Messy Implementation: Tracking the BS
The first step was setting up the system. It felt like I was an intern for a cult. Every Saturday morning, as soon as Hayes’ video dropped, I went in. I didn’t even listen to his soothing voice; I just ripped the transcript and dumped it into a spreadsheet. Column A was the prediction, Column B was the date range, and Column C was the reality check.
- Data Collection: I started with my own life, logging major events. But that was too random.
- Scaling Up: I hit up three other Pisces friends—and yeah, I had to bribe them with free beer—to give me a quick summary of their week. Good, bad, or utterly boring.
- The Coding System: I needed a system for the reality check. I color-coded the predictions: Green for “Something genuinely positive happened that fits,” Red for “Total screw-up or the prediction failed spectacularly,” and Yellow for “Vague enough it could mean absolutely anything.” You know, the typical “a major decision regarding a partnership is looming” crap.
I wasted months grinding through this. It was mostly Yellow, to be honest. Absolute fluff. He’d say things like “Be ready for a financial shift,” and my buddy got a $5 rebate on a bulk paper towel purchase. So accurate, John, so accurate. This whole thing felt pointless. I was ready to quit, figure I’d proved it was all garbage and move on.
The Discovery: It’s Not Random
But then I noticed something weird. After the third month, the vagueness stopped being vague on one specific, recurring week. Almost every single time, he’d promise something incredibly sharp—or at least, sharper than the usual talk—and it was always wrong. Like, dead wrong. Not just slightly off, but the exact opposite of what happened in my tracking group.
He would promise a massive breakthrough in communications, and my friend’s phone would die, their internet would cut out, and they’d lose an important client. He would promise a sudden influx of cash, and I’d get a massive, unexpected plumbing repair bill. The week he promised the greatest luck was the week we all universally had the worst luck.
The Key Date: The Hook
I wasted another month tracking the patterns of when he uploads versus when the actual, boring, textbook lunar phases were happening. I pulled up some fancy, complicated astronomical data—don’t even ask me what it’s called or how I found it, it took forever—and I laid it right next to his weekly schedule. This isn’t about the sun signs or the planets; it’s about the moon.
This is the key date: The week leading up to the second quarter moon in a water sign.
Every. Single. Time. Hayes would make the predictions sound super exciting, talking about new beginnings, huge success, and passion projects. But I found that this specific lunar phase, the second quarter moon, is when the actual cosmic energy is at its most tense and confusing. It’s unstable. People are emotional and they are prone to making terrible, heat-of-the-moment decisions.
He tells people to start something big when they really should be hunkering down and waiting for things to settle. I figured out why when I checked the site traffic and view counts for his content—easy enough to do with some simple browser tools. The views for the “Key Date” weeks always spiked the highest. People are most hopeful, or maybe most stressed, right before that quarter moon. They click on the promise of an easy fix or a big positive change. It’s pure engagement bait, hitting you right when you’re most vulnerable.
He promises gold, and you get mud. After about eight months of tracking this nonsense, I finally had enough data to fill a small book. I showed the complete spreadsheet to Mark. He looked at the massive Red column and the ‘Key Date’ section, and he finally, finally shut up about John Hayes. I didn’t get my money back from the financial hit, but I won the argument, which felt better anyway.
The truth about his weekly Pisces forecast? It’s just a damn predictable cycle of traffic bait, hitting people hardest when the stars are already making things messy. Don’t look at his promised success; look at the timing.
