The Absolute Chaos of Chasing Fish Signs and Paychecks
I swear, I never meant to start digging into astrology, especially not Pisces and their drama. I’m a numbers guy, a practical dude who believes in spreadsheets, not star charts. But here we are. This whole practice started because my neighbor, let’s call him Stan, a total Pisces mess, kept telling me he lost three grand in crypto last month because “Mars was in retrograde” and his ex texted him right before he clicked ‘sell’. Seriously? I told him that was garbage, but he doubled down, insisting emotional hits directly tanked his financial decisions.
So, I decided to prove him wrong. I needed a real, live specimen—a Pisces who had just been smacked in the face by love drama—and I needed to track his immediate money behavior. This wasn’t some gentle observation; I was going full forensic accountant on this dude’s emotional wallet.
I didn’t have to look far. I grabbed my buddy, Leo. Leo is the ultimate walking cliche of the emotionally wrecked, hopelessly romantic Pisces. He was just dumped. It happened literally yesterday. The title says “yesterday” because that was the day his girlfriend—who he was planning to buy a houseboat with—packed her stuff and left a note.
I called him up. He was a disaster. Sobbing, eating cold pizza, staring at his phone. I walked right over, ignored his protests, and forced him to open his banking apps. My goal was simple: catalogue every single transaction he made in the 24 hours immediately following the relationship explosion and see if the impulse spending confirmed Stan’s idiotic theory about love affecting money luck.
Executing the Financial Interrogation
I started by documenting the baseline. Leo had about $7,000 spread across a savings account, a low-cap tech stock portfolio, and a checking account, which was sitting at a decent $1,200. Yesterday, when the breakup went down, he initially reacted like a normal human: he went silent.
But the silent part didn’t last long. Around 8 PM, the emotional leakage began, and that’s when the financial carnage started. I watched the transaction history unfold like a terrible, slow-motion car crash. He wasn’t tracking charts or making investment calls—he was stress-buying.
Here’s the breakdown of the first twelve hours after the emotional hit:
- Impulse Buy 1 (The Comfort Trap): Leo, needing validation, ordered a $450 espresso machine on Amazon Prime. Why? He hates coffee. He admitted he saw a commercial where a happy couple was drinking espresso, and he just hit ‘buy now.’
- Impulse Buy 2 (The Distraction Attempt): He dumped $600 into an online casino game. This wasn’t even gambling; it was buying coins for a dumb phone app. He said he just needed the dopamine hit. Poof. Gone.
- The Social Emergency: He texted three ex-girlfriends (yes, three) and ordered $200 worth of flowers to be delivered to them, “just to see if they were happy.” They were not happy.
- The Stock Panic: This was the big one. He opened his trading platform, saw the market was slightly down (normal fluctuation), and, fueled by panic and emotional instability, sold 50% of his tech portfolio at a temporary dip, locking in a $1,100 loss. He wasn’t thinking; he was reacting.
I stopped the bleeding when he tried to book a one-way flight to Thailand just because “it felt right.” I literally took his phone away and changed all his passwords. The initial 24-hour tally was brutal. Leo, the poor emotional Pisces, had torched nearly $2,350 in cash and locked in an $1,100 investment loss, purely because he was distraught.
The Realization and the Lesson Learned
So, did love affect his Pisces horoscope and therefore his money luck? I suppose, in the immediate sense, yes, it looked like Stan was right. The relationship drama absolutely cratered Leo’s short-term financial stability. But here is the thing I actually figured out, and this is the nugget that contradicted the whole star sign garbage.
It wasn’t that he was a Pisces. It was that he was human. I went back and looked at my own screw-ups. I remembered that time I was totally stressed out about a project deadline and accidentally paid my property tax twice. I remembered when I was fighting with my brother and immediately bought that ridiculously overpowered graphics card I didn’t need just to feel like I was winning something.
The lesson I pulled out of this whole chaotic practice is that intense emotional distress—whether it’s love, anger, fear, or burnout—doesn’t care about your birth month. When your brain is flooded with cortisol and you’re making decisions based on desperation, impulse control vanishes. The Pisces label was just a distraction.
The simple, rough truth: If your emotions are running high, your money luck will absolutely suck, because you will make stupid, short-sighted decisions. Leo wasn’t doomed by the stars; he was sabotaged by his inability to put his phone down when he should have been sleeping off the heartbreak. If you want good money luck, you need discipline, not a crystal ball. And if you’re a mess, lock down your wallet until you can speak in full sentences again.
