You know, life throws you curveballs, and sometimes, you just kinda clench up. Like when you’re hanging onto something real tight, maybe a job, or a way you’ve always done things, or even just your last few bucks, and you can’t for the life of you figure out when things are gonna change or if they ever will. That’s exactly where I found myself a while back, feeling all boxed in, a bit like that 4 of Pentacles fella, clutching his coins and just… stuck.
I remember this period vividly. I’d been in this rut, a real deep one, professionally. I had this gig, it wasn’t great, but it was my gig. It paid the bills, barely, and I’d convinced myself it was the only thing keeping my head above water. Every time a new opportunity popped up, or even just an idea of trying something different, my gut would just twist. I’d think, “Nope, better hang onto what I’ve got. Don’t rock the boat. What if it gets worse?” It was like I was physically holding on, even when what I was holding onto was… kinda flimsy, you know? My fists were practically clenched all the time, even when I was just sitting there having a cup of coffee.
I was doing some personal reflection, messing around with some old tarot cards I had lying around, nothing fancy, just a bit of self-therapy. I pulled the 4 of Pentacles, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. There he was, sitting on his stool, head down, hugging those coins, four of ’em, two on his head, two under his feet. The image just screamed “holding on,” “fear of loss,” “stubbornness.” And I saw myself, plain as day. That’s when I really started asking, “Alright, so how long am I gonna be stuck in this tight-fisted, anxious state? What’s the time frame for this feeling?”
My Personal Breakdown of the “Stuck Time”
- First up, I had to just admit it. I was scared. Plain and simple. I was scared of not having enough, of making the wrong move, of losing what little security I thought I had. Saying it out loud, even just to myself in my head, cracked open a tiny window. It wasn’t about the cards telling me anything specific about when things would change, but about recognizing the why of me being stuck.
- Then, I really started looking at what I was actually holding onto. Was it just the job? Or was it also an old idea of success? A past version of myself? I grabbed a notebook and just started scribbling. I listed out all the things I thought I “needed” to keep for security. Most of it was mental clutter, old beliefs, not actual necessities. Turns out, I was holding onto a lot of dead weight I didn’t even realize was there.
- Next, I tried some little experiments in “letting go.” Not big, scary leaps initially. I started small. Instead of constantly checking my bank balance like a hawk, I set a new boundary: once a day, and that’s it. Or, at work, instead of trying to control every tiny detail of a project, I consciously delegated something and tried to trust someone else for once. It felt weird, like losing a limb, but nothing catastrophic happened. The world didn’t end.
- I also started redirecting that energy. All that focus I was putting into hoarding my resources, whether they were actual dollars or just mental energy, I tried to shift it. I started looking for small ways to invest in myself, not just financially, but in terms of learning. I picked up an online course on something totally different than my day job. Bought a used book on a new skill. Just tiny steps, not big commitments.
- The real shift came when I saw the results of these small changes. I realized that by trying to hoard, I was actually pushing new stuff away. By clinging to that mediocre job, I wasn’t even seeing better opportunities. By gripping my wallet so tight, I wasn’t allowing for new streams of income or even just a chance to enjoy what I had. The “time frame” wasn’t some external clock; it was literally me, and how long I chose to stay in that clenched-up state. As I loosened my grip on these small things, I noticed a subtle, but definite, opening up in other areas of my life.
So, the “time frame” for that 4 of Pentacles energy? It ended when I decided it was time. There wasn’t a set date on the calendar, no astrological alignment, no magic number of days. It was just a point where I said, “Enough is enough,” and started consciously prying my own fingers open, one by one. It wasn’t instantaneous, mind you. It was a process, a gradual letting go, and with each release, I felt a little lighter, a little freer, and suddenly, new possibilities started trickling in. It’s funny how that works, isn’t it? The minute you stop holding your breath, you can finally take a full one.
